We have moved to a new place with my mom and brother. That small house is like the hallway of our apartment with a number of rooms. My mom slept in one room while we took to another. Late at night, I started to feel that there is a presence of some other being in the room, the thought of which wouldn't let me sleep. I would keep feeling an extraneous shadow on the room's wall or the room's door screeching open. I decided to pray some holy verses but my mouth wouldn't move much. I rushed to my mom's room passing through the hallway which seemed creepier in the middle of the night. I woke her up and told her that something isn't letting me pray. She calmed me and said to pray here. So I took out my prayer mat but didn't know where is the Qibla direction to pray to. So I took out my cellphone to look at the Qibla but the WiFi would keep getting disconnected, then when I would try to open up the app to find out the angle of the Qibla, the app would keep getting shut as if someone didn't want me to know where to pray to. I was annoyed but more so getting overwhelmed by this emotion of fear.
Fear from what, I think now. If God is omnipotent and everywhere then I wouldn't have had to worry and even if that thing had control over physical factors outside me, no one could take control over my heart. And if the love of God, His recognition as all powerful, and hope in His mercy resides within me then I don't have to fear but to just call upon Him from within. I opened my eyes then from the dream and began to say the holy verses. I felt relaxed that now no one can stop me from summoning God's power. As I felt relaxed, I tended to go to sleep again. But a voice within me kept telling me that its time to pray. That's what you wanted to do in the dream and something stopped you short. Get up now and pray. I wrestled my laziness as relaxation from the acceptance of God's mercy settled inside me, when suddenly the alarm rang for the prayer time. I quickly fought myself to leave the bed, turn off the alarm, and say the Tahajjud prayer with full attentiveness, composure, and pride. Pride that I serve Him, who is everywhere, all powerful, all knowing of what's coming my way, and all merciful to shield me from harm, and all wise to guide me to success.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
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