Anger degrades a person

1/6/11
I reached to another significant realization by just pondering over a pretty insignificant and mundane act of mine that indeed, "the anger not only controls one's self but also plummets him to the bottom of his character's dignity."

I feel that this was a highly important lesson for myself as I begin my marital life. Because now, I have to duly look after my "two selves" with utmost care and harmony. I cannot afford to resort to anger in dealing with the matters of my daily life because now its not only going to be me but my wife who would be equally affected. While I had heard an innumerable quotes in the praise of a mentally sturdy, emotionally resilient and a controlled person, I perhaps previously never had such a deep spiritual "shining", whereafter my mind would personally advise me from within to refrain from letting anger overpower my emotions.

Surely it was another mundane morning, when I screamed over my cell phone for have uncontrollably falling off the table twice within a few minutes' time. But after I was finished screaming over it and craving to smash it against the wall, I unconsciously thought over my act. And I realized that this small gadget made me go out of my control and brought my mind into a different state where my thinking capability was halted momentarily and I was performing a totally senseless act, that is, screaming over an idle object. I felt so ashamed over myself and felt degraded. Similarly, any object or a person who succeeds in provoking anger inside you actually begins to control you, or in other words, makes you perform acts against your conscious will, and also degrades you as a human, for you lose your grip over your intellect.

I had heard this lesson times and times again as a part of my parents' valuable instructions but failed to understand its true essence, until I felt it myself as I kept my mind open for questions and curiousness. Even our religious leaders and other great scholars in the past have reprobated this act of practicing anger in a whole range of beautiful quotations. To cite a few:

Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as) said:

"The most powerful person is the one who is victorious over his anger with his forbearance."

"When a person gets angry, if he is standing, he should immediately lie down (sit down) on earth for a while as this removes the filth of Shaitan (Satan) from him at that time."

Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said:

"He is not strong and powerful, who throws people down, but he is strong who withholds himself from anger."

"Whoever suppresses his anger, when he has in his power to show it, Allah (SWT) will give him a great reward."

"The best Jihad is self-control."

This also reminds of other instructions acquired from my parents and through my readings:

- One who entices you into anger controls you

- Thoughtful mind and not an angry one can solve a problem for anger shuns the thought-process

- If you are angry while standing then sit down, and if you are sitting that lie down, and if you are in the latter of the three poses then try to fall asleep

Moreover, I recalled various instances in the Islamic history when the various leaders including Imam Ali (as) who ordered at his deathbed to offer sweet cold drink to his own assaulter, who crushed his skull with the poisoned sword while he was in the act of prostrating before God during morning prayers. And another incident when Imam Ali (as) spared his enemy after having fully empowered him in the battlefield, just because his motive of fighting the opposition was corrupted with his self-anger after he was spit upon by his enemy.

But after having heard and read these popular historical incidents and sayings, I think what most influenced my thoughts was my self-realization after meticulous contemplation. Now, I should try my utmost to practice self-control and suppress any motives of ill-temper by taking just enough time before saying or doing anything.